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Well… I have been fucking busy as hell lately.

Opening up a new restaurant is literally taking the life out of me – in a good way – I like my job. I’m happy. But it’s leaving me zero time to do what I like to do best. Go out, enjoy my friends, make new ones, travel, eat at new places, shop, have sex, workout, clean my house, go to the movies… you know, normal things you do when you have a life. Did I mention that I have not been having sex lately? This is NOT by choice. Trust me, I need some booty like you would not believe. But I don’t really wanna fuck anyone I know. Honestly, sex isn’t really the most important thing for me right now. My ass is getting chunky. I look and feel like I have a poor diet and probably can’t do 10 push-ups in a row and also that I have been so broke that I have been living off the dollar menu for the past month.

All of that is real.

But it’s not going to stay that way forever. I plan on getting back into the gym and I just recently started making money at my job because we opened the restaurant finally, so after I get caught up on all my bills I will start putting away money to make myself look and feel better. And my fucking hair… OMG. I asked a friend to trim 2 inches off of my hair and what does this bitch do?? CUTS SIX INCHES OFF MY HEAD!!! The bitch basically took a year from me and said, whoops! Anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed with my hair. I’ve been blessed with good healthy tresses and this slimy cunt whore just snipped it all off. I got over the shock after a few days and now I realize that I have much bigger things to worry about. Like not getting evicted from my apartment due to late as fuck rent. And anyway, I love that girl. How can I stay mad at someone like her? She’s got one of the most infectious laughs and the bitch basically gets me drunk every single time we hang out. AND she brings me food. Even though I haven’t been going out, I’ve been getting a lot closer to the people that I see on the regular. I work with some of my close friends and that always makes everything better. When you struggle on your own, it’s the worst. But when it’s a group of you with the same struggle… man… it just makes shit easier to deal with.

I’m not seeing anyone currently. I haven’t even got anyone in my view. There was a guy who I kinda liked, but he’s going through nonsense too. All we did basically was sit at my apartment and bitch about our lives. Really kills the mood ya know? I did have a drunk hook up a few weeks ago, but that was terrifying. He was WAY too eager and overjoyed to have sex with me that it was a complete turn off. I told him; “Mmmm I like kissing you” to which he replied “Oh my God, I fucking LOVE kissing you”. As soon as that went down I knew I had made a mistake. Plus, he didn’t shave his balls. That is the absolute worst. I like my bean bags hairless and if you can’t maintain that shit, you can’t maintain your life in my book. The sex was just OK. Nothing to write home about. His mouth was too small. I mean… it was a drunk hook up. What did I expect?

Can we talk about balls for a minute?

Why the hell is this still an issue? Why are we as women expected to have hairless legs, but men are not expected to Nair their shit?? This is something I will not change my mind on. Guys, if you want us to go down there, at least have the courtesy not to lead us into the jungle. My blowjob skills are fucking on point, but you won’t know that shit if you have a motherfucking Amazon between your legs. It’s gross! I don’t want your hair getting wrapped around my fucking uvula!! Then I have to stop what I’m doing, reach down my throat and pull out a Rapunzel-esque hair from my mouth? You will be asked to leave the building sir and you will receive zero cab fare. Jesus, how long must my people suffer?!? SHAVE IT!!!!

Anyway, that’s my life right now; chubby, busy, somewhat broke, and not getting any. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Money is increasing and I went to the grocery store finally and bought actual food. Plus, there’s a 24 hr Fitness right by my house that I’m going to join at the end of the month. Things are getting better gradually. And I’m so grateful for the people I have in my life right now cheering me on and wading through the waters with me. Yes, even the bitch that chopped my hair off. I love her too.

Also, I still hate guys that don’t shave their balls.

Just wanted to reiterate that.